Love
William Shakespeare. Painting by Frank Dicksee (1884).
Love is a universal concept related to affinity or harmony between beings, defined in various ways according to different ideologies and points of view. view (artistic, scientific, philosophical, religious). Usually, and fundamentally in the West, it is interpreted as a feeling related to affection and attachment, and the result and producer of a series of attitudes, emotions and experiences. In the philosophical context, love is a virtue that represents all the affection, kindness and compassion of the human being. It can also be described as actions directed towards others and based on compassion, or as actions directed towards others (or towards oneself). himself) and based on affection.
In Spanish, the word amor (from the Latin, amor, -ōris) encompasses a large number of different feelings, from passionate desire and intimacy to romantic love up to the asexual emotional proximity of family love and platonic love, and even the deep devotion or unity of religious love. In this last field, it transcends feeling and comes to be considered the manifestation of a state of the soul or mind, identified in some religions with God himself or with the force that holds the universe together.
The emotions associated with love can be extremely powerful, often irresistible, and can be both pleasurable and painful (particularly in the Western world). Love in its various forms acts as an important facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, due to its central psychological importance, it is one of the most frequent themes in arts such as cinema, literature or music.
From the point of view of science, what we know as love seems to be an evolved state of the primitive survival instinct, which kept human beings united and heroic in the face of threats and facilitated the continuation of the species through reproduction.
The diversity of uses and meanings and the complexity of the feelings that it encompasses make love especially difficult to define in a consistent way, although, basically, love is interpreted in two ways: under an altruistic conception, based on compassion and collaboration, and under another selfish one, based on individual interest and rivalry. Egoism is usually related to the body and the material world; altruism, with the soul and the spiritual world. Both are, according to current science, expressions of brain processes that evolution provided to the human being; the idea of the soul, or something resembling the soul, probably arose between a million and several hundred thousand years ago.
It often happens that individuals, human groups or companies disguise their selfish behavior as altruism; This is what we know as hypocrisy, and we find numerous examples of such behavior in advertising. Conversely, it can also happen that, in an egoistic environment, altruistic behavior is disguised as egoism: Oskar Schindler provided a good example.
Throughout history, concepts have been expressed, even in cultures without any known contact between them, that, with some variations, include the essential duality of the human being: the feminine and the masculine, good and evil, yin and yang, Anaximander's apeiron.
Two ways of understanding love
Human beings can essentially develop two types of attitudes: under one of them we are altruistic and collaborative, and under the other we are selfish and competitive. There are people totally polarized towards one of the two attitudes of their own free will; for example, Buddhist monks are totally turned towards altruism, and practitioners of objectivism, towards egoism. And there are also people who combine both ways of being, behaving, sometimes, in an altruistic and collaborative way, others, in a selfish and competitive way, and others, in a partially altruistic and competitive way. In some parts of the world altruism prevails (Tibet), so selfishness is generally seen as something negative. And there are human groups where the opposite happens. All the wars in history were born of selfishness on the part of at least one of the two sides; all the conflicting situations of the human being come from selfishness.
Scientific approach to egoism and altruism
Richard Dawkins interprets both attitudes as the expressions of the self-preservation instinct of the individual (egoism) and of the species (altruism). He explains that, according to a theory accepted by some biologists, we inherited the genes responsible for such attitudes from ancestor species, and that, before our arrival, biological evolution was probably controlled by a mechanism called "group selection"; By virtue of this mechanism, the groups of individuals in which there were more members willing to sacrifice their lives for the rest would have a greater probability of surviving than those that were made up of selfish individuals; this would result in the world ending up populated by altruistic individuals. It is a theory that, although it provides an explanation for the fact that altruism currently predominates in the world, generates great controversy in the scientific world for directly contradicting the Darwinian theory; For this reason, the author's personal explanation about the survival of altruism in the Darwinian framework of individual egoism is that the unit of survival is not the individual, but the gene; that is, under this point of view, human beings and groups of human beings are "survival machines" "created" by genes for their own benefit.
In any case, Dawkins argues, because we are the first rational species, we are also the first species in the history of evolution capable of choosing between both types of behavior voluntarily, thus acting voluntarily « independent" of our own genetic programming.
Evolution seems to occur through overlapping and progressively refined processes. At an immediate level, it works by a simple, gigantic, irrational process of trial and error; the successes of a certain state of organization facilitate its continuation. However, as the organization develops more and more, strategic forecasting methods appear spontaneously, which choose indirect paths that, in the short term, may even seem like a mistake, but which, considered as a whole, constitute a success.; This type of "behavior" has been observed in virtual models of evolution programmed in a computer; aggressive and egotistical behavior constitutes a first level of superorganization, by virtue of which the individual "understands" that for his survival he must "attack" his rivals before going directly to the reward, and altruistic behavior is a second level that it arises at the moment when individuals develop the ability to communicate with each other; In computational models, the completely spontaneous development of combinations of both mechanisms has been observed, in such a way that an individual communicates with several others and "lies" to the rest for the benefit of the group. Egoism, in this way, appears from the perspective of the group as a tactical behavior, and altruism as a strategic behavior.
Intelligence is constituted as an additional level of super-organization that allows the analysis of the global situation and the prediction of the best path to follow by largely replacing the physical method of trial and error by a parallel and "virtual" process., also subject to evolution, which develops entirely in the brain of individuals and which is transmitted in an equally "virtual" way to subsequent generations through education. According to the theory of the technological singularity in conjunction with the concept of Transhumanism, it is suggested that we will soon have the possibility of "artificially" programming our own evolution in the most beneficial way for all, although, nevertheless, there are criticisms of this.
Altruistic conception
Altruism can be understood as pure altruism, where there is no attachment or desire, as in the case of Buddhism, or as “altruistic egoism”, as in Buddhism. the case of Christianity, where there is attachment to a superior being and the desire to obtain salvation. In practice, in both religions there is attachment and desire, and in Buddhism there is a last stage prior to enlightenment that consists of renouncing all achievements for nothing, with the aim of completely destroying the ego. For the so-called "pure altruism", there is no possibility of negotiation; relationships are not competitive, but collaborative: one seeks the well-being of others without expecting anything in return, and the others seek one's well-being.
Buddhism places attachment and desire as negative emotions that also produce anger and, ultimately, suffering. Attachment, desire, anger, fear and ignorance (for example, lack of understanding of the causes of another's Duḥkha) all contribute to reinforcing the ego. In Buddhist philosophy, real love is compassionate love, and love and the ego are incompatible. Recent scientific studies have shown that Buddhist meditation produces an increase in activity in brain areas related to positive emotions and a decrease in activity. of activity in areas related to anger and depression.
"Altruistic egoism" is the philosophy of human relations preached by Jesus Christ ("love God above all things and love your neighbor as yourself").
Altruism is the way of understanding love for Leibniz, who believes that if one really understands and seeks love, one will always take pleasure in the happiness of another.
To truly love, and in a disinterested way, is nothing but to find pleasure in perfections or in the happiness of the object.Gottfried Leibniz
Humanistic psychology considers that love is essential to achieve a healthy self-esteem.
Psychological health is impossible unless the essentials of the person are fundamentally accepted, loved and respected by others and by themselves.Abraham Maslow
Abraham Maslow places love in the stratum of affiliation, between that of security and that of recognition, within his hierarchy of human needs.
Matthieu Ricard, a doctor in biochemistry and a Buddhist monk, uses as an example the altruistic behaviors that existed among Jews unknown to each other during the Nazi occupation to illustrate the fact that human beings are altruistic by nature. "How is it possible to think that they acted out of selfishness in that situation?" He argues.
Compassionate love from a scientific point of view
Matthieu Ricard underwent an exhaustive study using brain scans under a special state of meditation in which a state of pure love and compassion is generated and not focused on anything or anyone in particular. The results showed an unprecedented increase in activity in the brain's left prefrontal cortex, associated with positive emotions, while activity in the right lobe area associated with depression decreased, as if compassion were a good antidote to depression.. And the activity of the amygdala, related to fear and anger, also decreased. On the other hand, a group of employees of a company meditated 30 minutes a day for 3 months. Throughout the study, they reported a decrease in his anxiety levels, and it could be seen that the activity of his left prefrontal cortex also increased.
Selfish conception
The previous conception is diametrically opposed to that of capitalism, which promotes the so-called "selfishness inherent to the human being", and on which it is based. Ayn Rand defends that selfishness is essentially a noble feeling, and that every person is responsible for their own happiness and not for that of others. This thought is closely linked to pure capitalism.
I swear, for my life and for my love for her, that I will never live for the good of another man, nor will I ask another man to live for mine.Ayn Rand
Sexual love, in any of its variants, also constitutes a markedly selfish love; what is manifested as altruism towards the couple constitutes a manifestation of pure selfishness with respect to the rest of society; the sexual act itself develops under a state of personal egoism in which the individual seeks her own pleasure, either directly or through the gratification that the pleasure of his partner produces. Along the same lines, Sigmund Freud considered that all human motivations had a libidinous background, and therefore selfish. Considering sublimated compassionate love, he describes love as exclusively narcissistic behavior; for him people only love what they were, what they are, or what they aspire to be; he even distinguishes between healthy and pathological degrees of narcissism. He wrote, among other things, that a mother's unconditional love leads to perpetual dissatisfaction: "When one was unquestionably the favorite son of his mother, he maintains throughout his life that feeling of winning, maintains the feeling of security in success, which in reality is seldom satisfied. It is a way of understanding human relationships that has spread during the 20th century from the United States to other Western countries, and currently there is a hard struggle between its defenders and detractors. France and Argentina are the two countries that are most resistant to abandoning the culture of psychoanalysis. In Spain, more than 9% of psychologists already follow this paradigm.
Love in capitalist society
Capitalism places society within the framework of a production process. With this framework, love becomes one more element of this process. Companies analyze the human being and look for a way to extract the greatest amount of consumption from it, not hesitating to use love and sex as lures in a denatured and grotesque way: the company evokes feelings of love and desire in the consumer, but its ultimate goal is not to seek love or sex on the part of the consumer, but his money and his work. As a consequence, dehumanization occurs when love for another human being is identified with love for a product, since said association inevitably brings the association of the human being himself with a product.
Gilles Deleuze and Félix Guattari consider that capitalism produces a perversion of the natural concept of love, situating the human being as part of a production machine and destroying the concept of body and soul. They write, in Anti- Oedipus: «capitalism collects and possesses the absurd and non-possessed power of the machine. [...] in truth, it is not for him or his children that the capitalist works, but for the immortality of the system. Endless violence, joy, pure joy of feeling in a cog in the machine, traversed by flows, cut by schisms." Michel Foucault, referring to capitalist society, insists in his 1977 preface to the English edition of Introduction to schizoanalysis that opposes "not only historical fascism, but also the fascism that is in all of us, in our heads and in our daily behavior, the fascism that makes us love power, desire that same thing that dominates and exploits us".
Within the productive chain, or, as it is known in the Anglo-Saxon world, "comfort chain", lies are also a valid element; in fact, it is a recurring and necessary element so that the system does not succumb. It is, literally, what in politics is known as demagogy; the consumer is lied to for selfish purposes, and this leads, according to the aforementioned authors, to a "schizophrenia" of human relationships at all levels, making real love impossible.
Werner Sombart considered the distortion of love in society as the last stage of a destructive process of evolution that is not exclusive to Western culture: First, love lost its individuality with Christianity, which unified and theocratized it: no love was genuine if it did not come from God, if it was not approved by the Church. A period of "emancipation from the flesh" followed, which began with timid attempts and was continued, with the troubadours, with a period of more accentuated sensuality, of full development of free and naive love. Finally, a stage of great refinement appeared and, as a climax, moral relaxation and perversion.
Manifestations of love
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In the relationships of the person with their environment, love has been classified into different manifestations; As a result, one or more of the following may appear:
- Self-personal love: The love, compassionate love, is, from the point of view of humanistic psychology, the healthy love for oneself. It appears located as a prerequisite of self-esteem and, in some context, as synonymous with this. It is positive for personal development and indispensable for good interpersonal relationships, and should not be confused with narcissism, which entails egocentrism and which coincides with low self-esteem. For Buddhism, which qualifies the ego as a mere illusion of our mind, real love, compassionate love, only exists when it is directed towards another person, and not towards oneself. For psychoanalysis, which, completely opposed to Buddhism, qualifies the ego as the only reality, self-personal love is always narcissism, which can in turn be healthy or unhealthy.
- Unconditional love: It is compassionate, altruistic love, which professes without expecting anything in return. The spiritual lovepreached by different religions, it is unconditional love for antonomasia. The Motherly love, or love of mother to child, is also recognized as love of this kind, and, by tradition, it is considered motivated by a strong instinct that makes it especially intense; however, there is also one who questions the existence of such instinct.
- Subsidiary love: Between children and parents (and, by extension, between descendants and ancestors).
- Brotherly love: In its strict sense, it is affection among brothers, although it can be extended to other relatives except parents and descendants. It is born of a deep feeling of gratitude and appreciation to the family, and manifests itself by emotions that point to the coexistence, collaboration and identification of each subject within a structure of kinship. From the point of view of psychoanalysis, the brotherly is, like the filial love, sublimated, since it is based on the interdiction of incest.
- Friendship: Close to brotherly love, it is a feeling that is born from the need of human beings to socialize. The love of neighbour born in turn of the use of the power of the mind to empathize and tolerate, and constitutes the abstraction of friendship. For Erich Fromm, such love of neighbour equals Brotherly love and love preached in Bible through the phrase "You shall love your neighbor as yourself".
- Romantic love: It is born in the expectation that a close human being will bring one of satisfaction and existential happiness. This feeling idealizes to a certain degree the subject of such expectation, defined in the psyche.
- Confluent love: Love among people able to establish relationships of couple, defined in the middle of the centuryXX.. It appears in opposition to romantic love: it does not have to be unique, it does not have to be forever, it does not suppose an unconditional surrender, etc.
- Sexual love: Includes romantic love and love confluent. Sexual desire, according to Helen Fisher, is different from romantic love and affection (see your study on it). From the point of view of humanistic psychology, romantic love — and interpersonal love in general — is largely related to self-esteem.
- Platonic love: With property, it is a philosophical concept that consists of the elevation of the manifestation of an idea until its contemplation, which varies from the appearance of beauty to the pure and disinterested knowledge of its essence. For Plato, true love is the one born of wisdom, that is, of knowledge. Vulgarmente, it is known as a form of love in which there is no sexual element or it is given mentally, imaginative or idealistic and not physically.
- Love of animals and plants: It is born of a protective feeling.
- Love towards something abstract or inanimate: To a physical object, an idea, a goal, to the homeland (patriotism), to the place of birth, to honour, to independence (intimacy). It can be considered Platonic love in its philosophical sense. Patriotism may be associated with heroicity, in which case it constitutes a behavior of altruism with respect to its group, which in essence is a behavior of selfishness with respect to another group insofar as the other group of the same condition is not considered.
- Love towards a god or deity (devotion): He is often born of the education received from childhood, and is based on faith. God is regarded as the source of all love. In most cases, there is a belief that, after death, God will somehow reward people who consider the religion to be virtuous.
- Universal love: Spiritual love that, according to different religions, all people can come to profess the natural environment and that the great mystics experience as an expression of nirvana, ecstasy or enlightenment, states of absolute connection with the universe or with God. It is a sublime manifestation in which the rest of the manifestations are eclipsed or converged. Eckhart Tolle argues that love, as a continuous state, is still very rare and scarce, as scarce as a human being conscious.
Symbols
Since time immemorial, love and everything associated with it have been associated with symbols and icons. Of those that have survived to the present, some are autochthonous to different cultures or linked to the customs of certain geographical locations, and others, over the centuries, have become intercultural or even universal in the civilized world. Flowers, the color red, certain perfumes or romantic, dreamy or erotic music are elements that are repeated in a good part of love relationships. In the case of the West, chocolates, among other details, are sometimes interpreted with a loving meaning. Of all the symbols used, the most characteristic in Western culture are the cupid, and, above all, the heart.
Cupid
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The figure of Cupid in the form of a putto is a recurring image. In the case of romantic love, he is usually represented with a bow and arrows, which, often blindfolded, he shoots at people, thus making them fall in love.
The origin of Cupid goes back to Roman mythology, although his figure already existed in Greek mythology under the name of Eros, the primordial god responsible for sexual attraction, love and sex, also revered as a god of fertility.
Cupid's arrow also has Greco-Latin origins, and its influence was clearly noted in Spanish poetry since medieval times, even without the appearance of the god Amor. Under multiple names (vira, asta, arrow, arrow, shots, harpoon, dart, thorn...), appears in medieval, Renaissance and post-Renaissance literature with a sense of love that is repeated indefinitely with few different nuances and much rhetoric. However, the theme of the arrow reaches a higher plane, tinged with new conceptual touches with a transcendent dimension and paradoxical expression, when it is developed in versions alo divino. Of these, the narration of Saint Teresa of Jesus is significant in a passage from her Book of her life, in which she recounts her transverberation in the presence of Serafin.
Since the Renaissance, the figure of the putti came to be confused with the cherubs, a confusion that persists today. Both putti and cupids and angels can be found in religious and secular art from the 1420s in Italy, from the late 19th century XVI in the Netherlands and Germany, from the Mannerist period and the late Renaissance in France, and throughout the Baroque in ceiling frescoes. They have been represented by so many artists that presenting a list of them would be of little use, although among the best known are the sculptor Donatello and the painter Raphael; two putti in a curious and relaxed attitude that appear at the feet of his Sistine Madonna are frequently reproduced.
They underwent a major revival in the 19th century, and began to appear cavorting in works by academic painters, from illustrations to from Gustave Doré for Orlando Furioso, to commercials. Currently they are a motif widely used as a representation of love in images intended for marketing; such is the case with many Valentine's postcards.
Heart
The symbol of the heart is the one most frequently associated with love. When it appears pierced by Cupid's arrow, it symbolizes romantic love, and it is the common way in which adolescent couples draw it in the most diverse places to record their love. Reference is also made to the real heart or the chest of lovers as the source and receptacle of love, and expressions such as "splitting" or "breaking the heart" are common as a synonym for creating heartbreak, "stealing the heart" as a synonym for producing falling in love., "open the heart" as a synonym for offering love, and a long list of meanings in which the common elements are love and the soul.
The origin of the love heart seems to be uncertain, and there are various theories. The idea of the heart as a source of love dates back at least several millennia in India, China and Japan, with the concept of chakras as centers of "universal life energy", of which the one at the level of the heart manifests itself, it is claimed, in the form of love and compassion.
Regarding the symbol itself, some attribute it to a plant native to North Africa, known as silphium (generally considered an extinct giant fennel, although some claim that the plant is really Ferula tingitana; not to be confused with the current genus Silphium).
During the VII century a. C., the city-state of Cyrene had a lucrative business with said plant. Although it was used primarily as a condiment, it was reputed to have additional value as a contraceptive method. The plant was so important to the economy of Cyrene that coins were minted with the image of the pod or shell, which was shaped like the heart symbol we know today. According to this theory, this symbol was initially associated with sex, and later with love.
The Catholic Church maintains that the shape of the symbol did not appear until the 17th century, when Saint Margaret Mary Alacoque had a vision of it surrounded by thorns. This symbol became known as the Sacred Heart of Jesus, became associated with love and devotion, and began to appear often in stained glass and other types of ecclesiastical iconography. However, while the Sacred Heart probably popularized the symbol we know today, most scholars agree that it was around well before the century. XV.
There are other, less romantic ideas about origin. Some claim that the current form of the symbol arose simply from crude attempts to draw an actual human heart, the organ that the ancients, including Aristotle, believed to be the container of all passions. A leading scholar on the iconography of the heart argues that the philosopher's imprecise anatomical description of a three-chambered organ with a rounded top and a pointed bottom may have inspired medieval artists to create what we see today. known as the "heart shape". In turn, the medieval tradition of courtly love may have reinforced the symbol's association with romantic love.
Hearts proliferated when the exchange of Valentine's postcards gained popularity in England in the 17th century. Initially, the cards were simple, but the Victorians made them more elaborate, using the heart symbol in conjunction with ribbons and bows.
Currently, the symbol is widespread throughout the civilized world, and can be found in the most diverse fields, places and times, including playing cards from various decks, such as the English, French or Bavarian, tapestries, paintings, and as a decorative element in everyday objects. It is also the emblem of Cardiology.
Superstition
The irrational and indescribable nature of the atavistic love experience and, probably, the existence of a natural religious instinct, mean that another aspect closely related to love is superstition. The horoscope, divination, or the use of substances, objects and rituals with allegedly magical or miraculous qualities, are, among others, beliefs and practices that have persisted since ancient times, some of which, like religions, have been deeply rooted for many years. millennia (see the Spiritual Perspective section in this article). The advent of Rationalism in the 17th century and the dizzying development of science in the last century contributed greatly to reducing the impact of superstition on thought. However, there are still certain cultures, such as those of African tribes, for example, where it is possible to find purely magical thinking, as well as significant sectors of the population of the civilized world that, regardless of religions, accepted and socially assumed, still relate love with the supernatural, and proof of this are the sales of books on the New Age or the lucrative business of fortune tellers and fortune tellers through the media such as television or radio. In the words of Helen Fisher, love is the result of chemical reactions, and the knowledge of this fact is not an obstacle to its enjoyment:
I have to tell you yes, it's all chemical. Every time we produce a thought, or we have a motivation, or we experience an emotion, it is always chemistry. However, it is possible to know each and every ingredient in a chocolate cake, and we still like to sit and eat it. In the same way, we can know all the chemistry behind romantic love – we still don't know everything, but we're starting to know it in part – and still be able to capture all its enormous magic.Helen Fisher, in an interview.
Perspectives on love
People's Perspective
Popularly, love is considered a feeling. In the most common cases, this feeling is based on the attraction and admiration of one subject for another.
The term is usually associated with romantic love —a passionate and sexual relationship between two people that produces a very important influence on their lives—, which intensifies the interpersonal relationships between both subjects, who, based on their own insufficiency, want to the encounter and union with the one they have judged to be the complement to their existence.
However, it also applies to other different relationships —such as platonic love or family love—, and, in a broader sense, love for God, art, beauty, humanity or nature, what is usually associated with empathy and other capacities. In most cases, it implies great affection for something that brings happiness or pleasure to the one you love.
Love is a concept often in contrast to hate, contempt, or selfishness. However, the idea that "there is only one step from love to hate (or vice versa)" is also relatively widespread, and "quarrels between lovers" are typical, as well as, in some people, pathological love-hate relationships., the latter produced, according to a study by Yale University, by low self-esteem. For Helen Fisher, the coexistence of love and hate in love relationships is something that, to a certain extent, makes sense, since it suggests it the fact that, in many behavioral and physiological aspects, the responses of love and hate are analogous (see the Anthropological Aspects section of this article).
Cultures such as the Buddhist view attachment and desire as negative emotions that produce anger and suffering; love and ego are incompatible. In Buddhist philosophy, real love is compassionate love. Regardless of its origin—even in the case of love—attachment causes (spiritual) suffering. The hippie movement, which emerged in the 1960s, initially presented a similar approach to attachment. Likewise, this movement used love as one of the main bulwarks of the counterculture of the 1960s, exemplified in the slogan make love, not war ('make love, not war' 39;).
It is worth noting the current use of the word love to designate both spiritual love and romantic love as well as the sexual act itself —by means of the expression «making love». Until the middle of the 20th century, that expression was reserved for courtship.
People tend to apply the concept of love in an intuitive way to and from other animals (usually close on the evolutionary scale or showing interpretable signs such as intelligence) and to other living beings such as plants. In the first case, it is often due to the fact that the signs external to the human being are interpreted in an anthropocentric way; for example, the gesture of a dog that comes to lick the owner's hand is interpreted as a demonstration of love; However, the psychological processes that produce this type of behavior in dogs respond, according to current scientific knowledge, to other types of motivations that are much less complex than those of human beings, such as, for example, the need for maintenance. of the pack, inherited from its evolutionary ancestor, the wolf. In the case of plants, it is the fact that we know that the plant is also a living being, like us, that makes it the object of our love. In certain cases, it goes so far as to think that love itself benefits the plant. And it really does benefit her, albeit indirectly, through our actions. For Andy K. Figueroa in the Dasbien Theory, love is actions (giving something good) and all beings with some level of consciousness (people, animals, plants, among others) are possible subjects of an action of love.
Mystical and esoteric perspective
In Psychology of the possible evolution of man and in Fourth Way, George Gurdjieff and Piotr Uspenski distinguish between "feeling" and the "higher emotional function" and higher cognition." The first case is the one that is accessible to most people, and it is the one that is usually included in dictionaries, which define love as a feeling. However, this worldly feeling of attachment and desire is very different from what constitutes true love, which is only accessed by climbing the level of consciousness from ordinary to one present in few people, and even less permanently, and that in most people who experience it only happens once in a lifetime.
The rise in the level of consciousness produces changes at the level of perception: suddenly meanings begin to be found where they were not seen before, the encounter with the loved one "seems" to be surrounded by a fairy tale atmosphere (not it only seems so, it really is because the real world is like that), and the sense of sight becomes more attractive; for example, "it gives the impression" that colors, textures, shapes are perceived more and better. Ingenuity is accentuated, suddenly "one" surprises oneself with artistic expressions that at times one does not recognize as one's own, and one's ego dissipates: one begins to see the world as if one were watching a movie, in such a way that he forgets himself and his partner as bodies and events seem to flow in a softer, more graceful way, the spirit blossoms like a spring compassionate towards all things, and in some cases it reaches to the production of "miraculous" experiences (really, without quotes), in which surprising coincidences occur (friends who happen to appear in totally unexpected places, songs that start playing at the right time, and, in general, the "feeling » that the world adapts to the lovers in its path), which in turn reinforces the love and contributes to deepen the state even more. Perhaps due to the implacable skepticism of the ego, and due to the numerous micro-traumatic and stressful experiences that we experience at work, at home, on the street, especially in the absence of a loved one, a "critical mass" ends up appearing that irreversibly and inevitably wins the battle against the faith created around the magic of the love relationship, which was precisely what kept the level of consciousness elevated. However, they are experiences that, when evoked, and because they were strongly fixed in the memory, appear in the memory, although as if they came from nowhere, as if they happened in another unattainable universe. It is what lovers usually describe as the "magic of love", which usually appears more generously with the first true love of life, and which generally lasts no more than a few days, and intermittently, to be replaced by the experience of the ego, of the personality: attachment and desire. The individual stops being creative and becomes routine and predictable. From his new point of view in a diminished consciousness, and because he has completely forgotten his recent experience in a higher plane of consciousness, he believes he continues to live it as true love, but it is now simply a limited set of emotions, experiences and attitudes.. The magic (without quotes) is lost and what before were two spirits in one merged with the universe (or with God, if you like) are now interior emptiness, and what was before a landscape vision, bright, colorful, transparent in the air, where sometimes the senses even mixed with each other, now it is the perception of what is believed to be the "I", which is really that of a hominid animal subject to mechanical responses, a deceptive "I", poor and fragmented into dozens or hundreds of "I's" disconnected from each other.
As for sex, in evolved states of consciousness what we will call «spiritual sex» occurs. It is a compassionate surrender to the loved one, where the carnal union constitutes an element of maximum sacredness: it is, in fact, the origin of the creation of life. The ego does not exist, and as a consequence all the morbid elements are lost, which are replaced by feelings of purity and innocence. The emotional tension that exists in ordinary sex is replaced by a sensation of fluidity, of floating in the void, accompanied by a smooth and limitless flow of compassionate love that energizes the bodies and expands explosively at orgasm.
In the novel The Nine Revelations, James Redfield explains many of the phenomena that occur in the Fourth Way, including the appearance of real love.
Helen Fisher indicates that during falling in love substances such as dopamine or bupropion can be produced naturally, which could explain the aforementioned effects.
Spiritual Perspective
In monotheistic religious culture, love is often mentioned and supported by God, as is the case in Islam, Judaism, and Christianity. Those people whose love is or is supposed to be close to Universal Love, or God, are called saints. Both in Buddhism and in Christianity, Islam, Hinduism or Judaism, they are usually represented with a halo around their head. The Buddhas are presented with additional halos around their entire bodies.
Judaism
In Hebrew, ahavah is the most commonly used term for both interpersonal love and love of God.
Judaism employs a broad definition of love, both between persons and between human beings and deity. Regarding the first case, the Torah states: "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Leviticus 19:18). Regarding the second, human beings are commanded to love God "with all their hearts, with all their souls, and with all their strength" (Deuteronomy 6:5), taken from the Mishnah (a central text of Jewish oral tradition).) to refer to good deeds, willingness to sacrifice one's life instead of committing certain serious transgressions, willingness to sacrifice all possessions, and thankfulness to the Lord despite adversity (treatise on bərākhāh 9:5). Rabbinic literature differs from the above in how this love can develop: for example, through the contemplation of divine goods or the observation of the wonders of nature.
When it comes to love between marriage partners, this is considered an essential ingredient of life: "Look at life with the wife you love" (Ecclesiastes 9:9). The Biblical book Song of Songs is considered a romantic metaphor for the love between God and his people, but when read literally, it appears as a love song.
The Rabbi of the 20th century Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler is frequently cited as defining love from the Judaic point of view, from “give without expecting anything in return” (Michtav me-Eliyahu, Vol. 1).
Christianity
In Christianity it is understood that love comes from God, because love is a theological virtue. The love of man and woman—eros in Greek—and selfless love for others (agápē) are often contrasted as “ascending” and “descending” love, respectively., although ultimately they are the same thing.
Many Christian theologians see God as a source of love, which is reflected in human beings and their own loving relationships. C. S. Lewis, an influential Anglican theologian, wrote several books on love, most notably The Four Loves. Pope Benedict XVI, in his encyclical Deus Caritas Est (that is, God is Love), also sought to reflect on divine love for human beings and the relationship between the agape and the eros.
There are several Greek words for "love" that are frequently used in Christian settings.
- Agape: In the New Testament, agapē is charitable, disinterested, altruistic and unconditional. It is the love of parents, seen as the creator of good in the world; it is the way in which God is seen to love humanity, and it is the kind of love that Christians aspire to have for their fellows.
- Phileo: Also used in the New Testament, it is a human response to something that has been found very pleasant. Also known as Brotherly love.
- The words eros (sexual love) and storge (love between children and parents) were never used in the New Testament.
Christians believe that love God with all your heart, mind, and strength (above all things) and love your neighbor as yourself are the two most important things in life (the greatest commandment of the Torah of the Jews, according to Jesus); Saint Augustine summed up this thought by writing "love God, and do what you want".
The apostle Saint Paul glorified love as the greatest of virtues. Describing it in the famous poem First Epistle to the Corinthians, he wrote:
« Love is patient, it is helpful; love is not envious, does not boast, does not fade,does not proceed with lowerness, does not seek his own interest, does not irritate, does not take into account the evil received,
He does not rejoice in injustice, but rejoice with the truth.
Love all apologises, everything believes, everything waits, everything endures."1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
In the First Epistle of John, chapter 4, it says:
"Dear ones, let us love one another, for love comes from God, and he who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love has not known God, for God is love."1 John 4:7-8.
The Apostle John also wrote:
"Yes, God loved the world so much, that He gave His only Son so that whoever believes in Him may not die, but have eternal Life."John 3.16.
Saint Augustine says that you need to be able to decipher the difference between love and lust. Lust, according to Saint Augustine, is a great vice and sin, but to love and be loved is what this saint has sought all his life. He himself says: «I was in love with love». Finally, he falls in love and is loved back, by God. Saint Augustine says that the only person who can truly and fully love you is God, because the love of men has many flaws, such as «jealousy, distrust, fear, rage and discord». According to this saint, God is love «to achieve peace». (From the book: The Confessions of Saint Augustine).
The Catholic Church, reaffirming the teachings of its Magisterium and the Theology of the Body of Pope John Paul II, affirmed that love is a theological virtue, a "gift of self" self", and "is the opposite of lack of love". i>of mutual affirmation of the dignity of each couple" and a "encounter of two freedoms in mutual surrender and receptivity". This conjugal communion of man and woman is an icon of the life of the Holy Trinity and leads not only to satisfaction, but also to holiness. This type of conjugal relationship proposed by the Church requires marital permanence and commitment. For this reason, sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure, not only performs the function of procreating, but also plays an important role in conjugal intimate life. The conjugal sexual relationship is considered Rada as the great “human and totally humanized” expression of Love idealized by the Church, where man and woman unite and complement each other. All this conjugal love proposed by the Church requires fidelity, “permanence and commitment”, which can only be authentically lived “within the bonds of Marriage” and in conjugal chastity.
Islam and other Arab beliefs
In a sense, love encompasses the Islamic view of life as a universal brotherhood that applies to all who hold the faith. There are no direct references that God is love, but among the 99 names of God (Allah), there is the name of Al-Wadūd (الودود), or "the Lover", which is found in the Azora 11:90 and in the Azora 85:14. He refers to God as "full of loving kindness." All who have faith will have the love of God, although the degree of love received and the effort put into it depends on the individual himself.
Ishq, or divine love, is the main theme of Sufism. Sufis believe that love is a projection of the essence of God onto the universe. God wants to recognize beauty, so when, for example, someone looks in a mirror, it is God who "looks" at himself within the dynamics of nature. Since everything is a reflection of God, the school of Sufism practices seeing the beauty within the apparent ugliness. Sufism often refers to it as the religion of love. God appears in three main terms, which are the Lover, the Beloved and Love, the last of these terms being frequently found in Sufi poetry. A common view is that, through love, humanity can return to its inherent purity and grace. Sufi saints are infamous for being "drunk" on their divine love; therefore, the reference to wine in Sufi poetry and music is constant.
The word "love" appears in the Qur'an more than 80 times in different forms and meanings; all the verses that include the word "love", whether positive or negative, assure the greatness of the value of love in establishing relationships in its different forms and circles.
Some examples:
"Al·lâh will bring others to whom he will love and for whom he will be loved."TSQ The sura of Al-Ma’ida “The Served Table”, aleya 54.
Say: If you love Al·lâh, follow me, that Al·lâh will love you and forgive your faults. Al·lâh is Forgiver and Compassive."The sura of ‘Al ‘Imrân, ‘The Family of ‘Imrân’, aleya 31.
"And ask forgiveness of your Lord and return to Him, for it is true that my Lord is Compassive, Affective."Hûd's sweat, aleya 90.
In Islam, there is a powerful overlap between the laws of Allah and the laws of men. Within this framework, love manifests itself in various circles: Love towards Allah, Love towards the Messenger of Allah, Love of the Muslim towards the Muslim, Love within the Muslim family, Love towards the non-Muslim, The affection between the ruler and the ruled.
The fifth circle: love for non-Muslims
According to the Qur'an, Allah is the Affectionate, the Most Merciful and the One Who loves the just and hates the unjust. Justice is the best pillar for love between people. The mercy of Al∙lâh and the great and sublime Islamic values make love a wide space that embraces all people. The first step that leads to this love is to open the doors of recognition of each other. Allah, Exalted and Glorified says [what we can translate as]: “Men! We have created you from a male and a female and we have made you different peoples and tribes so that you may recognize one another. And verily, the most noble of you before Allah is the one who fears Him the most. Allah is All-Knowing and fully informed".
Al∙lâh allows a Muslim to marry a Christian or a Jew even though a part of their beliefs contradicts Islam and the habits of Muslims. And he emphasizes that Christians are a people worthy of affection: "...while you will find that those who are closest in affection to those who believe, are those who say: We are Christians".
There are other ayahs that warn that cases of rejection towards the other (non-Muslims) are not common, and that they do not apply all the time either. Those who do not have enmity against Muslims are not allowed to be treated as enemies, nor are they allowed to be classified as enemies. Rather, they deserve a different kind of treatment: “Allah does not forbid you to treat fairly and fairly those who have not fought you because of your belief and have not made you leave your homes. Verily, Allah loves the just."
The Qur'an opens the doors of goodness, affection and affection before those who are enemies with Muslims: «It may be that Allah puts affection between you and those whom you have had as enemies. Allah is Mighty and Allah is Forgiving and Compassionate." And among the comments on this ayah is the following: «Affection after rejection, affection after hate, and concord after discord. Allah is He Who Can unite the scattered and dispersed things. He is the One who conciliates between hearts after enmity and harshness and replaces them with encounter and concord ».
Writes Mahmud Nacua: «The origin of relationships between people, no matter how different their nationalities and beliefs may be, is the fact of recognizing each other, having mutual mercy, cooperation, friendship and peace. The exception is the state of wars and fighting, which are hateful issues. This exception is temporary because hatred does not remain among people regardless of the traces of wars. The world experienced both in past and recent times many examples of warfare that took place between tribes, peoples, and nations. Between one people and another, between one nation and another at a certain time, but they were followed by peace agreements, pacts and cooperation... Such is the nature of life, consecutive cycles. The best of people is the one who uses the cycles of goodness, agreements and peace for the development of the factors of goodness and love, instilling them among individuals and peoples. This is the way of Islam and this is the foundation in Islam."
Buddhism
In Buddhism, kāma is sensual, sexual love. It is an obstacle on the path to enlightenment, since it constitutes egoism.
Karuṇā is compassion and mercy, and reduces the suffering of others. It is complementary to wisdom and necessary for enlightenment.
Adveṣa and mettā are benevolent love. This love is unconditional and requires considerable self-acceptance. It is quite different from ordinary love, which is usually based on attachment and sex and rarely occurs without self-interest. Instead, this love refers to detachment and the absence of selfish interests for the benefit of others.
From the point of view of Buddhism, "pure" love comes from a state of spiritual purity that human beings can reach through the liberation of so-called disturbing emotions (desire and attachment, hatred and anger, ignorance, pride, envy), inherent in the material world or samsara. Through compassion, detachment from the material world, and meditation, one can gradually increase the functioning capacity of all the chakras, including the heart chakra, in such a way that it is possible to love consciously and eliminate the suffering associated with ordinary love until reaching the so-called state of enlightenment, in which there is unconditional love towards all sentient beings, comparable to that which For example, a mother can feel for her son. According to this school of thought, love holds all things together, and our consciousness creates the universe itself. For Buddhism, all religions are valid if they are based on spiritual love and compassion.
The bodhisattva ideal in Mahāyāna Buddhism involves complete self-renunciation in order to bear the burden of a world of suffering. The greatest motivation one has for taking the path of the bodhisattva is the idea of salvation that exists within selfless and unselfish love for all sentient beings, an idea that, as a desire, a disturbing emotion, must also be ultimately abandoned. to achieve enlightenment. Note that, in Buddhism, seeking happiness is a selfish act: the ego prevents us from understanding that happiness is not something that comes to us from outside, but the manifestation of a consciousness free from suffering.
Hinduism
In Hinduism, kāma is pleasurable, sexual love, personified by the god Kāmadeva. For many Hindu schools, it is the third ending (artha) of life. Kāmadeva is often depicted holding a sugarcane bow and flower arrow, and sometimes riding a large parrot. He is normally accompanied by his consort Rati and his companion Vasanta, lord of spring. Stone-engraved images of Kaama and Rati can be seen on the doorway of the Chenna Keshava temple at Belur in Karnataka, India. Maara is another name for kāma.
In contrast to kāma, prema —or prem— refers to elevated love. Karuna is compassion and mercy, which drives one to reduce the suffering of others. Bhakti is a Sanskrit term, meaning "loving devotion to the supreme God." A person who practices bhakti is known as a bhakta. Hindu writers, theologians and philosophers have differentiated nine forms of bhakti, which can be found in the Bhagavatha-Purana and in the works of Tulsidas. The philosophical work Narada Bhakti Sutras, by an unknown author (presumably Narada), distinguishes eleven forms of love.
Attachment and desire in Eastern religions
Eastern philosophy presents an approach to spiritual love different from Western one: suffering in itself is not what makes us virtuous, but rather it is a means to achieve virtue, in such a way that approaching enlightenment or Nirvana implies the gradual cessation of suffering and the increase of joy. As in Christianity, suffering is a cathartic (or path of atonement) that leads us to the enlightened state (or God in Christianity). However, for the Eastern conception, worrying about achieving a goal would constitute an additional mode of suffering (attachment and desire), so we should limit our suffering by not worrying about suffering itself — including desire to achieve goals. In Osho's words:
Love is easy, hate is easy, but you choose. You say, "I will only love, I will not hate." So everything becomes difficult. That way you can't even love! Inspiring is easy, breathing is easy. But you choose. You say, "I will only inspire, I will not breathe." This way everything becomes difficult. The mind can say, "Why breathe? Breathing is life. Simple arithmetic: inspire, do not drive the air; you will be more and more alive. You'll accumulate more life. You will have great reserves of life. Inspire only, don't breathe because breathing is dying." [...] Love is to inspire, hate to breathe. What to do then? Life is easy if you do not decide, because then you know that inspiring and espirating are not two opposite things; they are two parts of the same process. And these two parts are organic, you can't divide them. What if you don't breathe... The logic is wrong. You will not live; you will simply die immediately.Osho, The book of nothing.
Religion versus homosexual love
Christianity, Judaism and Homosexuality
Judaism and Christianity do not conceive of sexual love between homosexual persons. In the Bible, express mention is made of the rejection, not only of homosexual love, but of homosexuality itself. Three examples:
Don't sleep with a man like you slept with a woman. That's an infamous act.Leviticus 18:22
If anyone lays down with a man as if he slept with a woman, he will condemn the two to death, and they will be responsible for his own death, for they committed an infamous act.Leviticus 20:13
Do you not know that the unjust will not inherit the kingdom of God? Ye shall not be; neither the fornicators, nor the idolaters, nor the adulterers, nor the shaves, nor those that lie with men, nor the thieves, nor the coves, nor the drunkards, nor the cursers, nor the scavengers, shall inherit the kingdom of God.1 Corinthians 6:9-10.
The current Catholic Church maintains this rejection. According to controversial statements made in December 2008 by Pope Benedict XVI, "confusion of the sexes constitutes a serious threat to humanity". In January 2012, he further declared that "homosexual marriage undermines the very future of humanity". However, Pope Francis proposed in a documentary published on October 21, 2020 the possibility of same-sex civil unions.
Islam and Homosexuality
Islam, like Christianity and Judaism, does not conceive of homosexual love and rejects homosexuality itself. There is evidence of such rejection in the Qur'an, as can be seen in the following examples, where Lot criticizes the men of Sodom for their sexual behavior:
And Lot. When he said to his people, "Do you commit a dishonesty that no creature has committed before? Certainly, by concupiscence, you get to men instead of getting to women. Yes, you are an immoderate people!" The only thing that his people answered was: "Send them out of the city! They are people who give them from pure!" And we saved him and his family, except his wife, who was one of those who prayed. And we rained on them a rain: and look at the end of sinners!Azora 7:80-84
And Lot. When he said to his people, "Do you eat dishonesty knowingly? Do you come to men for concupiscence, instead of getting to women? Yes, you are ignorant people." The only thing that his people answered was: "Reject from the city the family of Lot! They are people who give them of pure." We preserve him and his family from punishment, except his wife. We're determined to be the ones who were praying. And we rained on them a rain. Fatal rain for those who had been warned...!Azora 27:54-58
Countries with a predominantly Islamic religion currently maintain legal penalties against homosexuals, including fines and imprisonment, including the death penalty in 5 countries: Iran, Mauritania, Saudi Arabia, Sudan and Yemen, and parts of Nigeria and Somalia.
Philosophical perspective
If the attitude of love is ever to be part of the descriptions that follow the trends of experimental science, it must be defined in such a way that it can be observed and quantified with some precision. Baruch de Spinoza established a definition that can fit the requirements of the humanities and social sciences. He wrote about it: «He who imagines what he loves affected with joy or sadness, will also be affected with joy or sadness; and one and the other of these affections will be greater or less in the lover, according as one and the other is greater or less in the thing loved».
Spinoza's definition, in which the attitude of love involves sharing the joys and sorrows of other people, does not differ essentially from the biblical definition of love, since the commandment suggests "sharing the joys and sorrows of others as if were their own”, such as “you shall love your neighbor as yourself”.
Not only does this definition refer to observable and verifiable aspects with reality, but it also presents quantifiable aspects, since it indicates that the affections will be shared to a greater or lesser extent, the greater or lesser the associated happiness or sadness. to the loved person.
From the aforementioned definition Spinoza draws some immediate conclusions, such as the feelings that arise towards a third party. According to his own words: «If we imagine that someone affects the thing we love with joy, we will be affected with love towards him. If we imagine, on the contrary, that he is affected by sadness, we will be, on the contrary, also affected by hatred against him».
We observe, in this expression, that hate appears as an attitude opposed to love, as a tendency to exchange (with respect to the mentioned third party) the roles of sadness and joy as shared affections.
For Leibniz, happiness is to man what perfection is to beings, and that happiness is fundamentally rooted in love. The love of God, according to the philosopher, must be tender, and must have ardor combined with light. Thus, human perfection consists in luminous love, a love in which tenderness is combined with reason.
Scientific Perspective
An approach typical of disciplines such as biology and psychobiology, collectively called neurosciences, as well as psychology and anthropology.
Biological aspects
The concept of love is not a technical notion in biology but a concept of ordinary language that is polysemic (has many meanings), so it is difficult to explain it in biological terms. However, from the point of view of biology, what is sometimes called love seems to be a means for the survival of individuals and the species. If survival is the most important biological goal, it is logical that the human species gives love a very high and transcendent meaning (which contributes to survival). From psychobiology it does make sense to find the organic bases of specific mental states (such as the subjective sensation of love).
However, in most animal species there seem to be expressions of what is called "love" that are not directly related to survival. Physical relations with individuals of the same sex (equivalent to homosexuality in humans) and sexual relations for pleasure, for example, are not exclusive to the human species, and altruistic behaviors are also observed on the part of individuals of a species towards those of other species (the ancient relationships between humans and dogs are an example). Some biologists try to explain such behaviors in terms of cooperation for survival or insignificant exceptional behaviors. Since the 1990s, psychiatrists, anthropologists and biologists (such as Donatella Marazziti or Helen Fisher) have found important correlations between the levels of hormones such as serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin and love states (sexual attraction, falling in love and stable love)..
Tripartite model of romantic love
Biological models of sex tend to view love as a mammalian drive, just like hunger or thirst. Helen Fisher, a researcher in the Department of Anthropology at Rutgers University, New Jersey, and a world expert on This theme describes the experience of love in three partially overlapping stages: lust, attraction and attachment, each of which develops a distinct, yet interconnected, and hormonally regulated brain process.
1) The indiscriminate sexual impulse or sexual arousal. This process is regulated by testosterone and estrogen in most mammals and almost exclusively by testosterone in humans, and is neurologically detectable in the anterior cingulate cortex. Short-lived (rarely lasting more than a few weeks or months), its function is to find a mate.
2) selective sexual attraction, love passion or falling in love, regulated by dopamine in the brain circuits of pleasure. This second stage is unusually long in humans compared to other species (up to 18 months). It consists of a more individualized and romantic desire for a specific mating candidate, which develops independently of sexual arousal as a feeling of responsibility towards a partner. Recent studies in neuroscience have indicated that, as people fall in love, the brain secretes in increasing amounts a series of chemicals, including pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin, which act similar to amphetamines, stimulating the center of the mind. pleasure of the brain and leading to side effects such as increased heart rate, loss of appetite and sleep, and an intense feeling of excitement. Research has indicated that this stage generally ends after one and a half to three years.
Another substance that the brain releases in a state of falling in love is phenylethylamine, which acts on the limbic system and causes the sensations and feelings common in said state, in addition to being a precursor of dopamine, hence the latter also is found in large quantities. A small chemical modification can cause it to become a stimulant (amphetamine and methylphenidate) or an antidepressant (bupropion and venlafaxine). Phenylethylamine can also be found in foods such as chocolate and fermented cheeses. According to Helen Fisher, this is why romantic love is—just like chocolate—addictive.
The protein molecule known as Nerve Growth Factor (NGF) has high levels when people first fall in love, although levels return to their previous levels after a year.
After the stages of lust and attraction, a third stage is necessary to establish long-term relationships:
3) Affection or attachment, a long-lasting affective bond that allows the continuity of the bond between the couple, regulated by oxytocin and vasopressin, which also affect to the cerebral circuit of pleasure; its duration is indeterminate (it can last a lifetime). Attachment involves the tolerance of the couple (or children) long enough to raise the offspring until they can fend for themselves. It is generally based, therefore, on responsibilities such as marriage and children, or on mutual friendship based on aspects such as shared interests. It has been linked to levels of the chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin at a higher level than occurs in short-term relationships.
The balance of the three processes controls the reproductive biology of many other species, so their evolutionary origin is thought to be common. Ethology interprets that human love evolved from the mating or courtship ritual of mammals (display of energy, obsessive pursuit and possessive protection of the partner and aggressiveness towards potential rivals).
Anthropological aspects
In an interview on the occasion of the publication of his book Why we love, Fisher comments that, in the choice of a partner, and although the specific reasons are not yet known, it is known that in an important way the culture and the moment in which said choice occurs (for example, we must be willing to fall in love). People tend to fall in love with someone close to them; we fall in love with people who are mysterious, who don't know each other well. Men fall in love faster than women, and three out of four people who commit suicide after a relationship ends are men. Regarding passion, both sexes present the same degree, but in men a greater activity has been discovered in a small brain region associated with the integration of visual stimuli. It makes sense because [in general] the porn business is supported by men and women are constantly trying to please men with their looks. The researcher reports that, for millions of years, man has had to take a good look at the woman and take her measure to see if she would give him a healthy child. In women, increased activity has been found in one of three different areas, associated with memory and recall, and not simply the ability to recall. Also for millions of years, a woman could not look at a man and know if she could be a good father and a good husband. To know, she had to remember. And nowadays women remember things like what her partner had said to her on the last Valentine's Day, or her behavior before. According to Fisher, it is an adaptive mechanism that women have probably possessed for four million years, in order to get the right man.
Romantic love is stronger than the sexual drive. It promotes mating, but, above all, it promotes the desire to achieve an emotional bond (we want our partner to call us, to remember us, we want to please them and we want both of us to have the same tastes). One of the main characteristics of romantic love, in addition to the desire for sexual contact, is that of sexual exclusivity. When we have sex with someone and we don't love them, we don't really care if they have sex with others. But when we fall in love, we become really possessive, something in the scientific community called "partner surveillance." For this reason, romantic love is a double-edged sword, because, depending on the outcome of the relationship, it can lead to great happiness or great sadness, which in turn can lead, in extreme cases, to suicide and/or to murder.
Love and hate are very much alike, with indifference being the opposite of both. We usually do both: we love and hate the person at the same time. In fact, love and hate have many things in common: when we hate, we focus our attention just as much as when we love; when we love or when we hate, we are obsessed with thinking about it, we have a lot of energy and we have a hard time eating and sleeping.
Psychological aspects
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To present the point of view of psychology, it would be necessary to present it from each of its approaches/schools.
From the point of view of cognitive-behavioral therapy, love is an organic state of mind that grows or decreases depending on how that feeling is fed back into the relationship of those who make up the love core. The feedback depends on factors such as the behavior of the loved one, their involuntary attributes or the particular needs of the person they love (sexual desire, need for company, unconscious desire for social ascension, constant aspiration for completeness, etc.).
From cognitive psychology and social psychology, the research carried out on love by Robert J. Sternberg stands out, who proposed the existence of 3 components in his triangular theory of love. love:
- Intimacy, understood as those feelings within a relationship that promotes rapprochement, bond and connection.
- Passion, as a state of intense desire for union with the other, as an expression of desires and needs.
- The decision or commitment, the decision to love another person and the commitment to maintain that love.
These three components can be related to each other forming different forms of love: intimacy and passion, passion and commitment, intimacy and commitment, etc.
Within social psychology, some authors propose a series of love archetypes, such as John Lee: ludus, storge, eros, agape, mania and pragma.
From psychoanalytical currents, for Erich Fromm love is an art and, as such, a voluntary action that is undertaken and learned, not a passion that is imposed against the will of those who experience it. Love is thus decision, choice and attitude. According to Fromm, most people identify love with a pleasant feeling. He considers, instead, that it is an art, and that, consequently, it requires effort and knowledge. From their point of view, most people fall into the error that there is nothing to learn about love, motivated, among other things, by considering that the main objective is to be loved and not to love, so they come to valuing superficial aspects such as success, power or attractiveness that cause confusion during the initial stage of the pretended crush but that cease to be influential when people are no longer unknown and the magic of the initial mystery is lost.
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Thus, he recommends proceeding with love in the same way that we would do to learn any other art, such as music, painting, carpentry or medicine. And he distinguishes, as in any learning process, two parts, one theoretical and the other practical.
From the point of view of humanistic psychology, the most delimited definition of love provided by humanism is that of Carl Rogers, also considered by Abraham Maslow: «love means being fully understood and deeply accepted by someone." According to Maslow, "love implies a healthy and affectionate relationship between two people." Based on these two definitions, the need for love is based on something that encourages people to be accepted and attached to a relationship. Maslow says: «The need for love implies giving it and receiving it [...], therefore, we must understand it; be able to create it, detect it, spread it; otherwise, the world will be chained to hostility and shadows. For Maslow, as well as for many psychological theorists, the needs or desire-drives described by psychoanalysis never reach complete satisfaction or are accompanied by the emergence of a new need, for which reason a state of requirement.
When there is a certain degree of egoism in sentimental relationships, situations arise in which one of the lovers, for fear of failure, due to the emotional insecurity caused by his lack of self-esteem, polarizes his egoism in an extreme and desperate for altruism, which, as an ultimatum, is manifested by an excessive love without thinking about the limits of oneself, and may even endanger their own existence or that of the other person by experiencing a polarized state of obsession. In this case, the one who loves, desires and yearns for the good and happiness of the loved one, and he does it above all things, but, ultimately, hoping to get something in return. From the point of view of Buddhism, it is a love with attachment. In these cases, giving without receiving in return, sacrificing oneself and putting the needs of the loved one before one's own, is usually considered for people who have not sufficiently cultivated altruism, that is, for people who do not they are capable of loving without attachment, a prelude to emotional imbalance, since the person who is the object of the obsession does not have to respond as planned; or it may even be that, under an equally selfish attitude, they do not appreciate the effort and demand even more. However, some confuse this polarization with "true" or "healthy" love, and demand the same behavior from the other person, being able to manifest extreme frustration and, as a way out of said frustration, violence. Due to the evident results in the daily news, we observe a growing trend towards dating violence, in which current psychologists point to this pathology of polarized obsession (triggered by low self-esteem) as the main trigger of these conflicts.
Remember that each of the approaches in psychology has its own contribution in this regard, consistent with its own theoretical framework.
Different historical-cultural visions
Although love is founded on biological capacities and needs as well as sexual pleasure and the instinct of reproduction, it also has a cultural history. Sometimes its invention is attributed to a particular tradition (the Sufis, the troubadours, Christianity, the romantic movement, etc.), but the archaeological remains of all civilizations confirm the existence of affection towards family members, the couple, children, fellow countrymen, among others, for which the interpretations that postulate that love in general is a specific cultural construction do not seem founded.
From a cultural point of view, sexual love has historically manifested itself towards people of the opposite sex as towards those of the same sex. For the Greeks and during the Renaissance, beauty ideals were embodied in particular by women and by male adolescents.
The Spanish word «amor» can have multiple, although related, different meanings depending on the context. Often other languages use different words to express some of the various concepts. Cultural differences in conceptualizing love make it even more difficult to establish a universal definition. In Mayan culture, the word love for children did not exist.
Persian Culture
Even after all this time
The Sun never tells the Earth “you are in debt with me”.
Notice what happens to a Love like that!
-Enlighten all of Heaven.Hafiz
Rumi, Hafiz and Sa'di are icons of passion and love in Persian culture and language. The Persian word for love is eshgh, which is derived from the Arabic ishq. In Persian culture, everything is encompassed by love and everything is for love, beginning with love for friends and family, for husbands and wives, and finally reaching divine love, which is the ultimate goal of life. Around seven centuries ago, Sa'di wrote:
The children of Adam are members of a body
Having been created of one essence.
When the calamity of time afflicts a member
The other members cannot continue their rest.
If you don't have compassion for others' problems
You do not deserve to be called by the name of "man."Sa'di
Chinese culture and other Sinic cultures
In contemporary Chinese language and Chinese culture, several terms or root words are used for the concept of love:
- Ai (female) is used as verb (e.g., wo ai nior as a name, especially in aiqing (fashion), “love” or “romance”. In mainland China, and since 1949, air. (selfishness, originally "loving", or, more literally, "person of love") is the dominant word for "husband" (it was originally derailed the separate terms for "wife" and "husband"); the word once had a negative connotation, which remains, among other places, in Taiwan.
- Lian ()) is usually not used in isolation, but as part of terms such as “being in love” (,, so lian'ai — which also contains ai“love” (,, dear lianren) u «homosexuality» (excluding tongxinglian). In confucianism, lian It is a benevolent and virtuous love that should seek all human beings, and reflects a moral life. The Chinese philosopher Mozi developed the concept of ai (female) as a reaction to lian Confucianist. AiIn Mohism, it is a universal love for all beings, not only for friends or family, without regard for reciprocity. Extravagance and offensive war are hostile towards ai. Although Mozi's thought had influence, the confucianist term lian is the one most Chinese use for love.
- Qing (IF), which commonly means "feeling" or "emotion", usually indicates "love" in several terms. It is contained in the word aiqing (check). Qingren It is a term used with the meaning of "loving".
- Gănqíng (INDING) is the "feeling" of relationship, vaguely similar to empathy. A person will express love by building good gănqíng, obtained through help or work rendered to other people and attachment to another person or to anything else.
- Yuanfen (. Sentence) is the connection of linked destinations. A significant relationship is generally conceived as dependent on a strong yuanfen. It consists in good luck when making a fortunate and unexpected discovery. Similar concepts in Spanish are: “They were made for each other”, or “destino”.
- Zaolian (simplified: 한:, traditional: 한:, pinyin: zăoliàn), literally “early love”, is a contemporary term often used for romantic feelings or attachment between children or adolescents. It describes both the relationship between a teenage boyfriend and girlfriend as the infancy of early adolescence or childhood. The concept essentially indicates the prevalent belief in contemporary Chinese culture that, due to the demand for studies (especially the highly competitive educational system in China), young people do not create romantic attachment and therefore jeopardize their opportunities for future success. Reports have appeared in Chinese newspapers and other media detailing the prevalence of the phenomenon, the dangers observed in students and the fears of their parents.
Qì xi: the Chinese “Valentine”
There is a Chinese legend said to be thousands of years old, which, with various variations, tells the story of a young muleteer named Niulang (Chinese: 牛郎; pinyin: niú láng; literally "[the] muleteer", or "cowherd", Altair) met seven fairies bathing in a lake on his way. Encouraged by his mischievous companion the ox, he stole his clothes, waiting later to see what would happen. The fairy sisters, to win them back, chose the younger and more beautiful sister, named Zhinü (Chinese: 織女; pinyin: zhī nǚ; literally, "[the] weaver", Vega). She does so, but, as Niulang had seen her naked, she is forced to accept the marriage proposal from Niulang, who had fallen in love with her (in other versions of the story, Zhinü had escaped from the boring sky for fun and it was her). the one who fell in love with Niulang). They were happy together, but, in the kingdom of the fairies, the "Goddess of Heaven" (who in some versions is the mother of Zhinü), after learning of the impure union, took her pin and formed a wide river to separate the two. two lovers forever, thus creating the Milky Way, which separates the stars Altair and Vega. (In another version, the Goddess forces the fairy to return to her task of weaving colorful clouds in the sky, since she could not do it while she was married to a mortal.)
Zhinü remains forever by the river, sadly spinning her loom, while Niulang watches her from afar, and cares for her two sons (the two stars that surround him, Beta Aquilae and Gamma Aquilae, or, by their names in Chinese, Hè Gu 1 and Hè Gu 3).
However, once a year, all the magpies in the world, mystical birds in Chinese culture, take pity on them and fly up to the sky to form a bridge (Chinese: 鵲橋, Que Qiao, "the bridge of magpies") over the star Deneb in the constellation Cygnus, so that lovers can meet for a single night, on the seventh night of the seventh moon, the day of love in China.
In late summer, the stars Altair and Vega rise in the night sky, and the Chinese tell and celebrate this legend during Qi xi (Chinese: 七夕 pinyin: qī xī, “the night of sevens”).
The story has a few more variations:
- The Goddess of Heaven, by being touched by the love that existed between them, decided to unite them once on the seventh day of the lunar month.
- The Emperor of heaven, the father of the arrier, was the one who separated them to concentrate on their work rather than on romance.
- The star Deneb is a fairy that acts as a snail when lovers are on the bridge of the urracas.
- Lovers can meet once a month.
- During the night of the sevens, at some point the two stars Altair and Vega actually meet on the same side of the Milky Way.
Japanese Culture
In Japanese Buddhism, ai (愛) is a love of passionate affection, and a fundamental desire. It can develop towards egoism or altruism and towards enlightenment.
Amae (甘え), a Japanese word meaning “forgiving dependency,” is part of the parenting culture in Japan. Japanese mothers are expected to cuddle and pamper their children, and sons are expected to reward their mothers by clinging to and serving them. Some sociologists have suggested that Japanese social interactions in adult life are modeled on the amae between mother and child.
Greek Culture
The Greek language distinguishes several different senses in which the word "love" is used. For example, ancient Greek features the words agape, philia, eros, storge, and xenia. However, with Greek (as with many other languages) it has historically been difficult to fully separate the meanings of these words. At the same time, the Koine text of the Bible contains examples of the verb agapó used with the same meaning as phileo.
- Agape (indicated in γγάπ agápē) generally refers to an ideal type of "pure" love, rather than the physical attraction suggested by eros. However, there are some examples of Agape used with the meaning of eros. It has also been translated as "love of the soul".
- Eros ((ωρς) érōs) is a passionate love, with sensual and lasting desire. The Greek word erota means in love. Plato created his own definition. Although eros is initially felt by a person, with contemplation becomes an appreciation of the beauty that exists within that person, or even becomes the appreciation of beauty itself. Eros helps the soul remember the knowledge of beauty and contributes to the understanding of spiritual truth. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth through eros. Some translations show it as "love of the body".
- Philia (φιλία philía), a virtuous love dispassionate, was a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family and community, and requires virtue, equality, and familiarity. Philia is motivated for practical reasons; one or both parties benefit from the relationship. It can also mean "love of mind".
- Storge (στοργ storgē) is a natural affection, like the one that parents feel for their children.
- Philautia (φιλαυταία philautía) was a term that the Greek philosophers used to refer to self-love and was regarded as a virtue, but that could in excess become a vice, such as vanity and selfishness.
- Xenia (35ενία xeniaHospitality was an extremely important practice in Ancient Greece. It was an almost ritualized friendship formed between a host and his host, who could have been previously unknown. The host fed and provided accommodation to the guest, who was expected to be rewarded only with gratitude. The importance of this love can be seen through all Greek mythology, in particular in the Iliad and the Odyssey from Homer.
Mythological review about love: the myth of the androgyne
In Greek mythology, there were three sexes: the masculine was originally a descendant of the sun; the feminine, of the earth, and what participated in both, of the moon. These three sexes, and their manner of progress, were, just like the moon, circular. Thus, they were terrible because of their strength and vigor and they had great arrogance, to the point that they attacked the gods. Faced with this situation, Zeus and the other gods deliberated, and found themselves faced with a dilemma, since they could not kill them or make their race disappear by striking them with lightning like the giants —because then the honors and sacrifices that men paid them would disappear—, nor allow them to continue being haughty.
After much thought, Zeus finally had an idea and said: «It seems to me that I have a stratagem so that these beings continue to exist and at the same time stop being insolent, by becoming weaker. Right now," he continued, "I am going to cut each of them in two, and thus they will be at the same time weaker and more useful to us, having increased their number." So Zeus carried out his plan, and once the nature of these beings was cut in two, each part began to miss its half, to meet with it and put its arms around it, to hold each other with each other. the other longing to be one by nature. Since then, the love of one another is innate in men and women and binder of the old nature, and tries to make a single individual out of two. That is why, when they come across that true half of themselves, they feel a wonderful impact of friendship, affinity and love, so that they are not willing to part.
From The Banquet by Plato.
Arab culture
In Arabic, which is a language rich in synonymous words, there are numerous synonyms for the word “love”. These include: "Al Hobb" ("love"), "Al Mawadda" ("affection"), "Al 'ishq" (a very strong passion), “Al Hayâm” (love that reaches madness), “As sabâba” (tenderness of passion), “Ash·shawq” (inclination for love towards another person or something concrete), “Al-Hawâ” (love that dominates the heart), “Ash· shahwa” (love mixed with desire), “Al Waÿd” (very intense love), “Al-Gharâm” (love that dominates the person, and the passion that tortures), "At-tîm" (to reach the madness of so much love, love that completely dominates the person).
Love manifests itself in various circles: Love towards Allah, Love towards the Messenger of Allah, Love of the Muslim towards the Muslim, Love within the Muslim family, Love towards the non-Muslim, The affection between the ruler and the ruled.
In a third circle is love between Muslims; This love crystallizes in the exchange of feelings of sincere affection and in translating it into words and deeds, in the bad and in the good. It is an intimate and close relationship in which hearts and spirits are drawn to each other; In this way, the satisfaction and enjoyment of love between the parties that are in harmony is achieved.
Ibn Al Qayyem enumerates the types of love in the social framework saying: "Among them is the love that manifests itself in an agreement about a way, a religion, a doctrine or a method, a proximity, a product or a aim. There is also love with the aim of achieving some benefit from the loved one, from his power, wealth, education or to satisfy a desire. This type is short-lived and ends once the goal has been achieved. He who loves you to achieve a goal, abandons you to achieve it. Harmonious love or the one that emanates from an agreement between two people is lasting and only ends when something happens that puts an end to this love. The love of great affection is: "a spiritual approval and a combination between souls"".
Turkish culture (shamanic and Islamic)
In Turkish, the word “love” appears with several meanings. A person can love a god, a person, her parents, or the family. But that person can only “love” (aşk) a person of the opposite sex. The Turks used this word only for their love affairs in a romantic or sexual sense, indicating a huge infatuation. This word is also common for Turkic languages, such as Azerbaijani (eşq) and Kazakh (ғашық).
Ancient Rome (Latin)
The Latin language has several different verbs that correspond to the Spanish word "love."
- Amāre is the basic word for "love", and it is still in the current Italian. The Romans used it both in an emotional sense and in a romantic or sexual sense. From this verb drift amans —a lover, beloved, “professional lover”, usually with the accessory notion of lust—and amica, "girlfriend", generally used euphemistically for a prostitute. The corresponding name is love, which was also used in the plural form to indicate loving entanglements or sexual adventures. The same root also produces amicus "friend"—and amicitia, “friendship” (usually based on mutual benefit, and sometimes more accurately “debt” or “influence”). Cicero wrote a treaty called About friendship (Of amicitia), which discusses the notion to a certain depth. Ovid wrote a guide for loving relationships called Ars Amatoria that treats in depth love from extramarital relationships to overprotective parents.
- In Latin sometimes used amāre with the meaning that we give in Spanish to « taste». This notion, however, is expressed much more widely with placere or delectāre, which are of more colloquial use, being the last frequently used in Catulo's love poetry.
- Diligere He often presents the notion of “having affection for”, “estimate”, and seldom, if not never, was used for romantic love. This word would be appropriate to describe the friendship of two men. The corresponding name, diligentlyHowever, it has the meaning of "diligence" or "dediction", and has a certain semantic superposition with the verb.
- Watch. is a synonym of diligere; this verb and its corresponding name, observantthey often denote "esteem" or "affect".
- Caritas corresponds to the Greek Agape (empathy, altruism), and it was used in translations of the Christian Bible into Latin with the meaning of "charitative love"; this meaning, however, has not been found in the classical pagan Roman literature. As a result of the combination with a Greek word, there is no corresponding verb.
- Cupiditas corresponds to the Greek term eros (sexual desire).
- Some vulgar terminology in Spanish, for example fiend, originated from filiation, generate hierarchies of seriousness or duration of the couple.
Anglo-Saxon Culture
In Anglo-Saxon culture, the word «amor» (love) has multiple meanings, as in Spanish. But, to all those that exist in the Spanish-speaking world, English speakers add an additional meaning, more related to the simple gusto for something: I love dancing (literally, «I love el baile") corresponds in Spanish to "I love to dance" or "I really like to dance"; he's a great actor, I love him (literally, "he's a great actor, I love him") corresponds to "he's a great actor, I love him", or "he's a great actor, I like it a lot." Psychoanalysis situates love as a narcissistic behavior, so that interpersonal love is really self-love in the last instance. In the United States, psychoanalysis has occupied a preponderant place in the field of psychology during the XX century, although there is currently a hard struggle between its detractors and defenders, which is known as the Freud wars. The culture of psychoanalysis has spread widely to other countries, and currently the two countries that most resist the extinction of this psychological current are France and Argentina.
Related bibliography
- Agustín García Calvo (1984), Love and 2 sexes. From the time of love and forgetfulness. Editorial Lucina, Zamora. (2.a ed. 1991).
- José Pedro Manglano Castellary (2007). Love and other bullshit. Editorial Planeta. ISBN 978-84-08-07567-7.
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